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Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
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It puzzles me how people can be so narrow-minded. I can understand that people fear change, but change is not necessary for there to be understanding and acceptance. Why can't people come out of their little shells? If I explain my beliefs to you and they are different than yours don't feel like it is an attack on your brain or faith. I am simply trying to gain understanding, and maybe even acceptance but the latter is not necessary.
There are very few people that I have met that have given me either, I try to gauge whether or not they will and decide how much I can let them in. Very few people know, me, the real me that is. I am not saying that I pretend to be someone else; I just don’t share my views. I wish people would understand that…
I am just a girl…
searching for her-self
trying to find her place in the scheme of things.
looking for meaning in her life and all things around her.
I am just a girl…
trying to breakdown the walls and barriers of race and gender roles that trap her.
trying to breakthrough society’s chains of gravity to become one of the few and elite, the educated. So that maybe then my opinion will matter. I will no longer be just the NON-DEGREE, MINORITY, FEMALE.
I am just a girl…
trying to tear down social stigmas and introduce people to new ways of thinking. Believe in what you feel is true and not what you are forced to.
trying to remove stereotypes, and often being accused of lawlessness and eccentricity for doing so.
trying to tread water in an ocean that’s waves are fierce, and strike me down. Yet still have the will to rebel and come up for air.
I am just a girl…
attempting and failing to achieve perfection, and yet being satisfied with where she’s ended up.
who sees greatness up ahead, in the distance, but does not know how to get there. She strikes up a new path trying to get there. Wondering where it will lead her.
trying to live her life to the fullest, and in the best way possible.
Now is that so bad?
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Saturday, October 22nd, 2005
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My Butt is Big
And round like the letter C
And 10 thousand lunges have made it rounder
But not smaller
And that's just fine.
It's a space heater
For my side of the bed.
It's my ambassador
for those who walk behind me.
It's a border collie
that herds skinny women
away from the best deals
at the clothing sales.
My butt is big,
and that's just fine.
And those who might scorn it
are invited to kiss it.
-nike
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Monday, September 12th, 2005
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Well, I am at ohlone as I often am...and bored.. I have so much damn reading to do but I dont feel like doing it so I am procrastinating by being online. ahhhh.. I can't wait untill I am through with ohlone and going off to a real college ...(UC Davis). Did you know that only 7% of the world has a college degree? and that the US only makes up about 1% of that 7? And yet it is so competitive for top jobs and to make any decent money you have to have a college degree... a bit ironic.
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Monday, September 5th, 2005
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this labor day weekend has been relaxing.. just been bumming around the house.. haven't done any homework yet so come tommorrow I am screwed. Oh well...
Saturday we had a BBQ and I actually cooked.. I made spanish rice, spaghetti, and bbq'ed ribs...all done by yours truly and it was not only edible but good....I was shocked.. I took pix.. to prove it..lol.
Sunday I spent the entire day reading "the da vinci" code. At first it was slow but then when it picked up it was REALLY good. For anyone who has read it... do you think what they say about the holy grail is true?
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Tuesday, August 30th, 2005
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I had something to say...forgot...oh well
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Friday, August 12th, 2005
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I ran up the door and closed the stairs,
I said my pyjamas and put on my prayers
I turned off my bed and hopped into the light,
All because you kissed me goodnight.
Ohlone starts on monday... *sniff* *sniff*
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Saturday, August 6th, 2005
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Today was the same as everyday basically. Boredum. I need books so if anyone wants to lend me a few I would be appreciative. I have read all of my own and am sick of them. I was so bored infact that I actually gave myself a pedicure. Me, a pedicure.. hehe...anyone who knows me must know that it is SO not me.
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Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
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Hey ya'll Im back .. yay... once I get over the jet lag I will say something useful
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well now well now.... I will be home soon so that is definately exciting.. more posting and more replying to all of your posts.
Does anyone know how to interpret dreams? or any site that interprets and stuff...?? supposedly I hear that crying in a dream means salvation...hmmm...
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Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
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| Time: | 7:20 pm. |
| Mood: |  intrested. |
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Well... I am terribly sorry I don't post or comment much.. but it is so hard for me to get onto the internet. I should be back sunday... I will post a couple of pix tomorrow...I hope.
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Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005
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| Time: | 2:29 am. |
| Mood: |  ahhhhhhhhhh. | | Music: | nelly. |
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ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh............ it was fucking 110 degrees today,.. i need to get outta here!!!!!!!!!!!!
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My aunt wants to marry this guy who sort of scares the crap out of me. I mean there was a "family meeting" and obviously I came late as usual, apparently they invited her prospective suitor along. I ended up taking the only empty seat left at the table which happened to be five feet away from the guy but directly across from him. Everyone else had been at the club for atleast an hour and half before me so I guess they were introduced and already talking but when I came the guy was just staring at me. Not even in like a polite way as to get a good look at me, no, he was down right staring staright at me with his big eyes popping out of their sockets. I got freaked out because this staring continued for more than a minute so I got up and left the table and walked around the club.
I came back about 20 minutes later and sat more or less next to the guy so he couldn't stare at me. lol. I though hey I'll give the guy another chance maybe he's not bad, my impression got worse. He started with his chauvanist idiocy. Women should stay at home and raise the children and serve her husband and they don't need college, why do they need such knowledge? So they can go out and work? no...a womans place is at home they don't need knowledge. And he had the nerve to say that women who work regret it when they turn 40. I was about ready to pour my water in his face, but I held my self for my aunt's sake. I didn't however hold my tongue. I told him that he was narrow minded and backwards and that he had better shut up before I shut him up because I am a feminist and I will not tolerate such nonsense from anyone. He let the issue slide
He said a lot of crap I didn't like but don't wish to repeat it will just make me mad again. According to my aunt he has strong opinions but he doesn't impose it on anyone. His previous wife works. But I dunno, I mean what is he going to teach his daughters if he has any, that they should be obedient slaves? No way any cousin of mine is going through that. Maybe I am biased but I doubt it. Maybe I just don't want anyone to replace my Waheed ( my aunts husband who died). He was more like a father to me than my own father. Maybe that is why I am blowing a fault out of proportion. Am I? I mean I want my aunt to be happy, she deserves it. But at the same time I have reservations about the guy, he will afterall be a part of my family, he will be the father of my cousins, don't I have a right to be sceptical?
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Wednesday, June 8th, 2005
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| Time: | 9:26 pm. |
| Mood: |  excited. |
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this is a trial pic if it all works out then I will be posting many a picture from now on... so does it work?
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Well first off if anyone would be so kind as to give me Sarah K's number in Egypt I would greatly appreciate it. Or even her e-mail for that matter, number is better but e-mail is ok.
So, the past few days have been pretty interesting. If Saira had taught me how to post some damn pictures on this thing I would have but she didn't so I can't. (anything goes wrong blame it on Saira...hehe) Apparently my aunt is getting engaged. My cousins are driving me up the walls, I hate it when kids follow me and act like my shadow...I need alone time.
Oh....and my cousins are begining to ponder the mysteries of life. Just last night my little cousin stuffed her empty shirt with lemons, I took pix of her like that. And then she asked why she didn't have any real ones..lol what was I to say? Then another cousin, Nancy, she's 20, tried to steal a precious lemon and the girl smacks her hand and and says "you have your own, go play with them!"
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| Time: | 5:39 pm. |
| Mood: |  complacent. |
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okay so I'm in Egypt, now sorry folks I wish I could post but this keyboard sucks and the buttons suck so it'll have to be later!
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Well folks, I am off to Egypt for 2 months. Worry not, they have internet over there! One of my well wishers happened to be my "father". Haven't heard form him in years and he calls...all of a sudden he remembers I exist. I don't understand why he called, he said it was to say good bye but he spent the entire time talking about himself. The convo was filled with many um-hmmm's, uh-huh's, and yea yea right's! I just don't understand taht guy...Farwell for a few days...
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Wednesday, May 25th, 2005
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I REALLY don't like BASIS at this point. My mom works for a school called BASIS she's a fifth grade teacher. Today she had a nervous breakdown, why you ask? Because of her damn boss Nabeeha...LONG story I do not care to retell I can't be bothered I don't want to piss my self off. Anyway... today we are FINALLY done college is over and finals are done.....
Today Saira and I gave our favorite teacher a toilet seat, because he is retiring this year. We made it pretty and decorated it and put our favorite things he said on it and I drew him a corvette. it was great he looooooovvveeeed it and he showed everyone today and then he took it to show it to the dean.
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| Time: | 5:32 pm. |
| Mood: |  thirsty. |
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So I went to the Dr's with many many ailments. I am having chronic headaches and dizziness. I dont't get more than 4 hours sleep a night for about two months now, and I bleed shitless. But of course I am perfectly normal and healthy according to my Dr.!! Apparently the brainsplitting headaches and diziness are cause by my lack of sleep, which is supposedly brought on by some supposed "stress". We went through the usual interrogation:
Her: Are you on any drugs?
Me: No! *cackle inwardly*
Any alcohol?
No!
Any recent sex? consenting or non?
I was embaressed to say no to this one but alas it is true...I need to get a bf!
and the list went on....she even gave a drug test and did a sobriety check...how lovely. Can't figure out what's wrong so I MUST be some addict. Any..way she kicked my mom outta the exam room and when she came back in she told her I need to be on birth control pills, so you can imagine how freaked out she was...lol I LOVVVVEEEEEDDDD the look on her face. No folks...I'm not pregnant...it's to stop the bleeding, but it was fun watching my mom think I was. The highlight of my day actually. Then she also prescribed I see a therapist. And that I go to physical therapy to fix my knee. So then I will supposedly be allllll better. Dr's are so full of it... they think prescriptions can solve anything...well I'm anti-medicine!!!
Okay I have got my months worth of ranting out now...so now I can be cheerful...ahhhhh *sighs*
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If ANYONE cares to see moi in my debut film... you can go to
www.adv4ppl.com/unforgiven/sharmy.html
needless to say Fatty and Shorty got A's...they are the best directors in the world...
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Wednesday, May 18th, 2005
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I feel the urge to blog....dunno what to blog about...
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dirtysoapbubble's journal
curious.
accomplished.
bored.
contemplative.