A look into my thoughts...

Narrow minded ness!!! ughhhhhhhh....

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 02:06:51 GMT

It puzzles me how people can be so narrow-minded. I can understand that people fear change, but change is not necessary for there to be understanding and acceptance. Why can't people come out of their little shells? If I explain my beliefs to you and they are different than yours don't feel like it is an attack on your brain or faith. I am simply trying to gain understanding, and maybe even acceptance but the latter is not necessary.
There are very few people that I have met that have given me either, I try to gauge whether or not they will and decide how much I can let them in. Very few people know, me, the real me that is. I am not saying that I pretend to be someone else; I just don’t share my views. I wish people would understand that…

I am just a girl…
searching for her-self
trying to find her place in the scheme of things.
looking for meaning in her life and all things around her.

I am just a girl…
trying to breakdown the walls and barriers of race and gender roles that trap her.
trying to breakthrough society’s chains of gravity to become one of the few and elite, the educated. So that maybe then my opinion will matter. I will no longer be just the NON-DEGREE, MINORITY, FEMALE.

I am just a girl…
trying to tear down social stigmas and introduce people to new ways of thinking. Believe in what you feel is true and not what you are forced to.
trying to remove stereotypes, and often being accused of lawlessness and eccentricity for doing so.
trying to tread water in an ocean that’s waves are fierce, and strike me down. Yet still have the will to rebel and come up for air.

I am just a girl…
attempting and failing to achieve perfection, and yet being satisfied with where she’s ended up.
who sees greatness up ahead, in the distance, but does not know how to get there. She strikes up a new path trying to get there. Wondering where it will lead her.
trying to live her life to the fullest, and in the best way possible.

Now is that so bad?

My butt

Sun, 23 Oct 2005 06:35:12 GMT

My Butt is Big

And round like the letter C

And 10 thousand lunges have made it rounder

But not smaller

And that's just fine.

It's a space heater

For my side of the bed.

It's my ambassador

for those who walk behind me.

It's a border collie

that herds skinny women

away from the best deals

at the clothing sales.

My butt is big,

and that's just fine.

And those who might scorn it

are invited to kiss it.

-nike

something to ponder....

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 18:12:26 GMT

Well, I am at ohlone as I often am...and bored.. I have so much damn reading to do but I dont feel like doing it so I am procrastinating by being online. ahhhh.. I can't wait untill I am through with ohlone and going off to a real college ...(UC Davis). Did you know that only 7% of the world has a college degree? and that the US only makes up about 1% of that 7? And yet it is so competitive for top jobs and to make any decent money you have to have a college degree... a bit ironic.

Labor day...

Mon, 05 Sep 2005 21:19:46 GMT

this labor day weekend has been relaxing.. just been bumming around the house.. haven't done any homework yet so come tommorrow I am screwed. Oh well...

Saturday we had a BBQ and I actually cooked.. I made spanish rice, spaghetti, and bbq'ed ribs...all done by yours truly and it was not only edible but good....I was shocked.. I took pix.. to prove it..lol.

Sunday I spent the entire day reading "the da vinci" code. At first it was slow but then when it picked up it was REALLY good. For anyone who has read it... do you think what they say about the holy grail is true?

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 21:40:19 GMT

I had something to say...forgot...oh well

ahhhhh.....

Sat, 13 Aug 2005 03:32:31 GMT

I ran up the door and closed the stairs,
I said my pyjamas and put on my prayers
I turned off my bed and hopped into the light,
All because you kissed me goodnight.

Ohlone starts on monday... *sniff* *sniff*

bored....bored...bored...

Sun, 07 Aug 2005 02:01:52 GMT

Today was the same as everyday basically. Boredum. I need books so if anyone wants to lend me a few I would be appreciative. I have read all of my own and am sick of them. I was so bored infact that I actually gave myself a pedicure. Me, a pedicure.. hehe...anyone who knows me must know that it is SO not me.

La...La...La...Bored as hell...dee dum...dee dum...da

I'm back!!!!

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 19:43:38 GMT

Hey ya'll Im back .. yay... once I get over the jet lag I will say something useful

Fri, 15 Jul 2005 21:10:46 GMT

well now well now.... I will be home soon so that is definately exciting.. more posting and more replying to all of your posts.

Does anyone know how to interpret dreams? or any site that interprets and stuff...?? supposedly I hear that crying in a dream means salvation...hmmm...

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 16:22:33 GMT

Well... I am terribly sorry I don't post or comment much.. but it is so hard for me to get onto the internet. I should be back sunday... I will post a couple of pix tomorrow...I hope.

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 23:36:54 GMT

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh............ it was fucking 110 degrees today,.. i need to get outta here!!!!!!!!!!!!

marriage...yay or nay?

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 19:32:16 GMT

My aunt wants to marry this guy who sort of scares the crap out of me. I mean there was a "family meeting" and obviously I came late as usual, apparently they invited her prospective suitor along. I ended up taking the only empty seat left at the table which happened to be five feet away from the guy but directly across from him. Everyone else had been at the club for atleast an hour and half before me so I guess they were introduced and already talking but when I came the guy was just staring at me. Not even in like a polite way as to get a good look at me, no, he was down right staring staright at me with his big eyes popping out of their sockets. I got freaked out because this staring continued for more than a minute so I got up and left the table and walked around the club.

I came back about 20 minutes later and sat more or less next to the guy so he couldn't stare at me. lol. I though hey I'll give the guy another chance maybe he's not bad, my impression got worse. He started with his chauvanist idiocy. Women should stay at home and raise the children and serve her husband and they don't need college, why do they need such knowledge? So they can go out and work? no...a womans place is at home they don't need knowledge. And he had the nerve to say that women who work regret it when they turn 40. I was about ready to pour my water in his face, but I held my self for my aunt's sake. I didn't however hold my tongue. I told him that he was narrow minded and backwards and that he had better shut up before I shut him up because I am a feminist and I will not tolerate such nonsense from anyone. He let the issue slide

He said a lot of crap I didn't like but don't wish to repeat it will just make me mad again. According to my aunt he has strong opinions but he doesn't impose it on anyone. His previous wife works. But I dunno, I mean what is he going to teach his daughters if he has any, that they should be obedient slaves? No way any cousin of mine is going through that. Maybe I am biased but I doubt it. Maybe I just don't want anyone to replace my Waheed ( my aunts husband who died). He was more like a father to me than my own father. Maybe that is why I am blowing a fault out of proportion. Am I? I mean I want my aunt to be happy, she deserves it. But at the same time I have reservations about the guy, he will afterall be a part of my family, he will be the father of my cousins, don't I have a right to be sceptical?

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 18:28:08 GMT

this is a trial pic if it all works out then I will be posting many a picture from now on... so does it work?

...hmmm...

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 11:24:54 GMT

Well first off if anyone would be so kind as to give me Sarah K's number in Egypt I would greatly appreciate it. Or even her e-mail for that matter, number is better but e-mail is ok.

So, the past few days have been pretty interesting. If Saira had taught me how to post some damn pictures on this thing I would have but she didn't so I can't. (anything goes wrong blame it on Saira...hehe) Apparently my aunt is getting engaged. My cousins are driving me up the walls, I hate it when kids follow me and act like my shadow...I need alone time.

Oh....and my cousins are begining to ponder the mysteries of life. Just last night my little cousin stuffed her empty shirt with lemons, I took pix of her like that. And then she asked why she didn't have any real ones..lol what was I to say? Then another cousin, Nancy, she's 20, tried to steal a precious lemon and the girl smacks her hand and and says "you have your own, go play with them!"

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 14:41:07 GMT

okay so I'm in Egypt, now sorry folks I wish I could post but this keyboard sucks and the buttons suck so it'll have to be later!

Sun, 29 May 2005 14:24:48 GMT

Well folks, I am off to Egypt for 2 months. Worry not, they have internet over there! One of my well wishers happened to be my "father". Haven't heard form him in years and he calls...all of a sudden he remembers I exist. I don't understand why he called, he said it was to say good bye but he spent the entire time talking about himself. The convo was filled with many um-hmmm's, uh-huh's, and yea yea right's! I just don't understand taht guy...Farwell for a few days...

Thu, 26 May 2005 02:57:55 GMT

I REALLY don't like BASIS at this point. My mom works for a school called BASIS she's a fifth grade teacher. Today she had a nervous breakdown, why you ask? Because of her damn boss Nabeeha...LONG story I do not care to retell I can't be bothered I don't want to piss my self off. Anyway... today we are FINALLY done college is over and finals are done.....

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today Saira and I gave our favorite teacher a toilet seat, because he is retiring this year. We made it pretty and decorated it and put our favorite things he said on it and I drew him a corvette. it was great he looooooovvveeeed it and he showed everyone today and then he took it to show it to the dean.

Sat, 21 May 2005 00:45:37 GMT

So I went to the Dr's with many many ailments. I am having chronic headaches and dizziness. I dont't get more than 4 hours sleep a night for about two months now, and I bleed shitless. But of course I am perfectly normal and healthy according to my Dr.!! Apparently the brainsplitting headaches and diziness are cause by my lack of sleep, which is supposedly brought on by some supposed "stress". We went through the usual interrogation:

Her: Are you on any drugs?
Me: No! *cackle inwardly*

Any alcohol?
No!

Any recent sex? consenting or non?
I was embaressed to say no to this one but alas it is true...I need to get a bf!

and the list went on....she even gave a drug test and did a sobriety check...how lovely. Can't figure out what's wrong so I MUST be some addict. Any..way she kicked my mom outta the exam room and when she came back in she told her I need to be on birth control pills, so you can imagine how freaked out she was...lol I LOVVVVEEEEEDDDD the look on her face. No folks...I'm not pregnant...it's to stop the bleeding, but it was fun watching my mom think I was. The highlight of my day actually. Then she also prescribed I see a therapist. And that I go to physical therapy to fix my knee. So then I will supposedly be allllll better. Dr's are so full of it... they think prescriptions can solve anything...well I'm anti-medicine!!!

Okay I have got my months worth of ranting out now...so now I can be cheerful...ahhhhh *sighs*

I Star in my own movie!!

Fri, 20 May 2005 18:04:20 GMT

If ANYONE cares to see moi in my debut film... you can go to

www.adv4ppl.com/unforgiven/sharmy.html

needless to say Fatty and Shorty got A's...they are the best directors in the world...

Thu, 19 May 2005 06:41:34 GMT

I feel the urge to blog....dunno what to blog about...

Mon, 16 May 2005 17:49:05 GMT

Today I am...(will not say my age)!!! YAY@!!! And I'm back from atl.. with lots of pix and lots to say about the trip but for that you will have to wait because my camera is at home so I can't do much. I've decided to make a movie out of our trip which I will post on my website.. I'll tell you when it's done... Other than that not much happened except dewitt one of my fave. prof's was mocking my age today!!...I hate being "the baby" but it does have it's perks at times.

Fri, 13 May 2005 13:46:15 GMT

going to atl!!! wopoooooooohoooooooo.. see ya'll on monday i'll post lots of pix...

hehehe...Kirshner...what a comedian!

Mon, 09 May 2005 23:37:32 GMT

I stole this from my old world civ. teacher's website...

Son: "Dad, I have to do a special report for Dr. Kirshner's Political Science course. Can I ask you a question?"

Dad: "Sure son, what's the question?

Son: "What is politics?" My professor says that it has something to do with a pillow."

Dad: "Well, I am not sure what your instructor means, but let's take our home as an example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me Management. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of you and your needs, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid The Working Class and your baby brother we'll call The Future. Do you understand?

Son: "I'm not really sure Dad, I'll have to think about it."

That night, awakened by his baby brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the son went to his parent's room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheard by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.

The next morning:

Son: "Dad, now I think I understand politics."

Dad: "That's great son, explain it to me in your own words."

Son: "Well, Dad, it is like this--while Management is screwing The Working Class, the Government is sound asleep. The People are being completely ignored, and The Future is full of crap."

Sat, 07 May 2005 23:18:14 GMT

WHAT IN GREEN HELL IS THIS????!!!!???? I am not one to bitch about things but about this I must bitch, it is my duty...It seems the god's have all gone against me today. It all started with a sleepless night in which I had a very odd dream.....

In my weirdo dream....
Saira...(my goody-two-shoes buddy) wasn't being her good little self. We were in a weird classroom and she was belly dancing.I sat next to Allia who sat next to Saira. Allia was bored so she lined up a whole bunch of different colored condiments ( there were blues and greens...all colors) on her desk. They had letters on top of the caps, she made the letters spell purple diagonally. After allowing her to feel a sense of acomplishment, I snatched her mustard and ketchup! ( not to be mean or anything, but I needed them to eat my hot dog.) Then Allia and i were discussing how weird it is to see Saira not acting like her good little self. At this point my damn alarm went off..alerting me that it was six AM and time to get up. I wasn't too sad, the dream didn't really seem to be going anywhere anyway.

After that I had to go take SAT II's. Yes I graduated and No I don't need them.. so why the hell am I taking them? Because me mommy said so that's why!! uggggggggghhhhh. I had to hear a lecture to and from the test all throught out breakfast..(which I was treating her to as a mother's day present...she could have atleast stopped...but no...of course not)...and alllllllll the way home from breakfast. Then she stopped yelling about that and moved on to other subjects...Finally some peace and quiet... I should seek refuge in my room more often...but when I do she accuses me of hiding.

What did I do to warrant getting yelled at? Let's see...I was born a girl, to a woman who is WAYYYYYYYYYY to over protective and as she gets older becomes more and more affected by what I like to call "the back-where-I-come-from syndrome" AKA..."the in MY country guilt trip".....Oh and durintg the yelling apparently she doesn't like my pants, which happen to be a washed out pair of jeans. She had the nerve to say "Enjoy those pants, because that is the last time you will see them!"....

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Yay!!

Wed, 04 May 2005 17:16:00 GMT

Yay! My mom has now given me the official authority to fuck with my life as I please! *so excited it brings tears to my eyes* She said that it is my life and if I want to ruin it, than its my problem and I will have to live this shit not her. I am glad she has finally realized that!...Yay!!

YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

-too little sugar this morning...